Update - turns out that the core wasn't fully seated. Thank goodness it was that easy of a fix - just goes to show that even simple mistakes happen, and it's important to check every step when debugging. Can now confirm that:
a) This board works and is much, much cheaper than the actual purethermal.
b) Coming from 50/25Hz, 8.7Hz is simply painful to look at, if useable
c) The Tiny1-C gives much better imagery, and really just outclasses the lepton. The BAE SCC500L is also waaayyy better for the same resolution. But hey, thermal is thermal!
Obligatory selfie attached.