With of course the moat filled with piranha and a drawbridge over it that you can pull up and keep mad redheads at bay.
To clarify it's to keep HMRC and pikeys out and the crazed redheads in.
If you want to be unpleasant to someone, call the police. If you want to be mean, call the tax inspector. If you want to be vicious, call HMRC. HMRC has nastier abilities than the police, stemming from the days before police, and when they travelled on horses and used candles. A moat won't keep them out unless you use lethal force.
I have no experience of the others, fortunately.
I went away for university. It was hell. Halls were an insecure, overpriced shit show of chaos, decay, rivers of actual human shit and no sleep. The property we rented after that was infested with everything possible. Fortunately some of the worst things it was infested with were eaten by the less bad things. We learned to appreciate those ones and even fed them.
Snowflake. I saw a similar house when at uni. One of my daughter's digs developed a hazardous hole in the kitchen floor, the electricity board took one look at where the mains entered the house and called for backup, and the shower had reliable hot water even when there was no electricity or central heating
All good lessons for life, and why it is worth working hard to avoid them!
Glad you found your connectors. I hope to be able to do similar things, but it is reaching the point where even when I remember what I bought "just in case", I can't necessarily find it