"What the...?" *Spots blood dripping on floor* "Oh, fu-u-u-ck..."
*Puts fingertip back roughly where it belongs & wraps with paper towel, then drops bagel back in the baggie & folds it under the stack of bagels with the other hand* (Hey... fresh cinnamon raisin bagels from local bakery )
"Honey, stop what you're doing & load the kids up into the car; I need you to drive me to the emergency room."
"Whaaaa....?"
And please hurry; the feeling is starting to return to my hand."
By the time we get to the ER, that entire hand is just a ball of fire; they get me processed pretty quickly and the ER doc is looking it over. She lifts the loose bit off, and of course the pain increases tenfold and my hand starts to shake & twitch.
"I'm going to need you to keep it still so I can inject it with lidocaine..." she warns, but it is literally all I can do not to snatch my hand away and sit on it... smack it against the wall, anything. The pain isn't quite as bad as the time I got blowed up and 3rd degree burns all down my other arm, but it is much more concentrated.
"I don't think I can..."
"Well, I need to numb the finger before I can stitch the bit back on."
*Cringe* "Doc... is there any medical reason not to apply the lidocaine directly to the raw meat right there? It is sterile, right...?"
"It's sterile... Umm... no, I guess there isn't."
"It won't affect the likelihood of the fingertip healing properly?"
"Not at all. But it's supposed to be injected."
"I get that... but just humor me, and drip a few drops from the needle on that raw meat and see if it helps me get a handle on the pain."
*drip... drip-drip*
I can feel the pain wash away, decreased what felt like easily 50dB as the droplets spread across the exposed flesh. In just a few seconds I'm able to hold the whole hand exactly where she wants it, perfectly still. She is able to get the needle right where it needs to be to deaden the primary nerve in the finger, and less than 5 minutes later I'm looking down at the scene above.
"Pain management." I say with a smile.
mnem
Yes, I toasted and ate that bagel when I got home. For some reason, my son didn't want it.
jesus h christ!
and you scoffed at my previous knife comments.
(knew you had to have some history. and yet you still use a toad stabber on your damn bagels?)
my last ER trip was for a slip up with a utility knife on a sunday afternoon. swmbo likes to argue (its a hobby of hers). so when i said take me to the ER she spent 10 minutes arguing that urgent care was a better option. finally caved. and damned if she didn't drive straight to the ER anyway.
had stabbed myself in the palm. the nurse was very impressed with the way she could monitor my pulse from the squirts (but never the less sent me to the back of the line). hit a nerve too and the thumb still does not work right. but because of the angle stitches were out. she finally settled on super glue and a pressure bandage.
met lots of unusual people during our 2 hours in the waiting area. apparently the local junkies all show up on sunday afternoon hoping to score some pain meds from the weekend shift. the staff seemed genuinely happy to see a problem with a straightforward cause, an easy solution, and an insurance card.