Since all other relevant options appear to have been deprecated, I shall be forced to fenestrate you upon the tallest building within 3-33 km (roll D11 to determine) that Frenchmen (but not women, unless they are distractingly curvaceous, nor Saxons of any gender) from all walks of life may point and gawk!
Please gird your loins that small children are not scarred for life; this is a family exhibition. ![Wink ;)](https://www.eevblog.com/forum/Smileys/default/wink.gif)
So, you wish to put Cerebus in a pierced window in a high building so that Frenchmen can look up on Cerebus and fall prostrate in worship? By Tarim, Cerebus approves! Ensure that there is adequate apricot brandy and enough wenches for the expected duration.
I shall fully eneavour to comply; so far I have 17 apricots and two wenches, one of whom is named Brandy. She promises to bring a case of Guinness and a friend who is French. likes to French kiss. Gender of said friend YTBT.
I'll keep you updated. ![Laughing :-DD](https://www.eevblog.com/forum/Smileys/default/smiley_laughing.gif)
[Cerebus shuffles off into the distance, muttering to himself]
"Just can't get the staff nowadays. Lord Julius tells Cerebus that beheading is not 'an appropriate disciplinary procedure'. Cerebus will have to talk to Lord Julius. Where did Cerebus put Cerebus' conversational sword and chainmail?"
[Ten Minutes Later]
"Why did Cerebus come to armoury? Where are Cerebus' reading glasses? Ooh, sharp, shiny..."
I see you've found Brandy's friend... the Guiness should be along any minute now, and it should be bringing Brandy, her sister Brandee, and her other sister Brandi.
When Cerebus orders a triple brandy he expects a drink, not a triplet of wenches and Cerebus did not order black ale!
So far on the spirits column, I have a cartload of Orange Julius Schnapps, an angry gentleman who was apparently run over by said cartload and is now haunting it, and a liter of Frangelico.
Cerebus will take the spirits in a stein. Have the idiot with the cart beheaded unless you can think of a more amusing punishment.
Also, "Leslie" from the Society for the Prevention of Parsley Placement on People's Plates in Public Places keeps calling for you but refuses to leave a message, and evidently news of your Green Garnish Crusades has reached the Vatican; you have a call from Pope Da'Gottago parked on the courtesy palantir in the West foyer just outside the armoury. I respectfully suggest you have clothes on before you answer this time; this IS a video call. ![Face Palm :palm:](https://www.eevblog.com/forum/Smileys/default/facepalm.gif)
Is "Leslie" what the bug is calling himself nowadays?
If the pope calls Cerebus will wear what he always wears, chainmail, medallions, a sword and, if it's been raining, a strange musky smell. If the pope doesn't like it remind him that Cerebus was once Tarim's "vicar on Palinau" and it wouldn't take much more annoyance today to make a pogrom to re-take that seat seem like a relaxing vacation.
So sir WILL actually be WEARING his conversational sword and chainmail this time? Thank Ifni.
![Face Palm :palm:](https://www.eevblog.com/forum/Smileys/default/facepalm.gif)
Remember, sir DID put it in my contract that I MUST remind him about all matters of decorum, ever since the Knife Storm incident; Directive 23 slash D, m'lord.
*Empties liter of Frangelico into Earth-Pig-shaped golden mug* There's your hazelnut brandy in the meantime, sir. Feel free to indulge, throw it away, or set my head on fire with it like the last time. Fresh apricot brandy is on its way from New Sepra at greatest possible speed; it has been difficult to keep up local production with all our distillers moving away since you keep executing them for singing off-key, juggling poorly, not being Sophia, or having sideburns...
Beheading the spirit haunting your cart of Orange Julius Schnapps is proving both problematic and recursive sir; being a ghost killed via decapitation by the wheel of said cart the irony is not lost on him. We could have him banished to the seventh sphere... I'm sure Suenteus Po would love his gibbering.
![Evil >:D](https://www.eevblog.com/forum/Smileys/default/evil.gif)
Or I could just empty the cart and have it sent to the far side of Palnu...
If you're ready for lunch I can have a menu sent up; or would you prefer to kill something fresh yourself today?
mnem
Next, on
As the Aardvark Turns...