First you can try calling it Windows, so that you don't sound like a desperately trying to be cool 9 year old. The only thing more cliche is if you called it M$ Windoze.
I am not a very experienced programmer and was tasked with a 1D chart recorder at my previous workplace. We ended up going with LabView, including all of its downsides, because for our usage experience it did what we wanted with the least amount of work. The hardware was VERY robust with the level of resolution you are mentioning. Unfortunately, it is much more expensive than your requirements.
If you can go with used, you can get the NI 9205 module off of ebay for under $500 (there is one that is asking $250 OBO). This still needs a chasis, none of the single slots are available on ebay right now but you can get a cDAQ chasis for under $300. If you add the LabView student edition, this should allow you to do what you want for under $1000.