What are you end needs? Finished product, research and development, hobby learning, work?
I want to hit print and get a single sided board in 30-60 minutes with 10/10 T/S. For a reasonable cost, and without a lot of hassle. This seems like such a simple problem to solve.
No, it isn't a simple problem, and not enough people really need it for anyone to have produced a nice solution.
If that's what you want, then by far the quickest, cheapest and most reliable way is chemical etching with a spray etch tank. Always has been, an probably will be for the forseeable future.
You can print, expose, develop and etch a board in 15 minutes. 10/10 is easily achivable with a 600dpi laser printer on tracing paper. Hand drilling can take a while, but something like a cheap CNC3040 engraver may be an option, and can also rout outline shapes.
The key thing is to be able to set up a dedicated area to do it and contain the mess.
You could easily set it all up for well under $5k
However you should really consider why you need it that fast. If you include the time to do the layout, ask yourself if it would be quicker to do quick & dirty prototyping with breakouts to prove any areas that need testing, then do a PCB that's going to be much closer to the final thing.
Also can you arrange things so you're doing the software (or documentation, or another part of the project) while you're waiting for the PCB to arrive.