if you wanna polish something to a shine you need to use higher then 2000 grit sand paper.
try going to 5000 grit (trizol) and then use a metal polish, which also comes in different grades.
Any diamond/cerium powder comes in mesh size. It does not matter what it is, the action is the same as a milling machine, you remove metal by little particles that have a rake angle.
Diamond is more friable wheras stuff like CBN stays sharper longer but might be less tough for certain things.
The abrasives are specified in micron size.
There is gimmickry related to 'dressing', i.e. the use of worn abrasives to get better surface finish, but its kinda bullshit, because just as with a milling machine you need to properly remove metal. If you have poor cutting edges (rather then smaller particles) you get more heat, which is bad.
What a grinder operator can do is "dress" the wheel down to make it give a 'better' finish but the feedrate and RPM gets all fucked up and you end up heating the work piece alot. The proper way is to use a fully dressed sharp wheel, do the operation as fast as possible with the optimal metal removal rate (and lowest heat generation and highest coolant ingress, you want the coolant spraying right at the cut surface with prejudice), then move to finer wheels.
If you wanna get serious then they have special auxillary diamond wheels which rub against your abrasive (Aluminum or CBN) and sharpen it EVERY time it revolves (called a sharpening wheel), made of diamond, but obviously your wheel wears down faster if you do this. Machine shops don't want to pay for this 'feature'. They rather have a expert that knows all the confusing 'tricks' to get the most out of one wheel rather then pay for multiple spindles or buy multiple grinders etc.
I am not going to get into flatness and tolerances here, (best left to an actual machinist) but this is how grinding actually works. If you look at the 'dust' or 'goo' under a electron microscope you will see it actually makes little slivers that snail up, just like a milling machine or lathe.
I.e. -tricks with worn sand paper are stupid too. Go down to a finer grit instead. Obviously don't skip steps.
With automotive its hard because they build special friable abrasives that crack as you use them, the only reason being to save you steps. It gets very confusing to specify because of this. But its not how sand paper and most grinding wheels are supposed to work. This and the 'goo' or 'dust' appearance of grinding/sanding operations is why people are so fucking confused about it. You are not supposed to deform. Its supposed to cut. Deformations are ugly and they produce lots of heat. Look at electron microscope pictures of a grinding wheel. What the diamond or CBN or alum oxide does is make TONS of little 'end mills' that cut the surface when its properly dressed. A diamond sharpener, stone, etc... gets worn BECAUSE on a microscopic level there is not enough pieces that have a proper cutting geometry. Its not really that clogged etc. You are pounding not cutting at this point. This 'moves' or 'deforms' metal in a elastic manner (like denting) and does not produce a good surface finish or tolerances in most cases
The smoother the surface you have, when you go down to a finer grit the better contact area there is, so the better the shine is (look at a hand scraped surface and see how shiny it gets when you get within 0.0001 flatness, even though you just poke it with carbide on a stick powered with your hands).
How abrasives differ : cutting geometry (i.e. special CBN wheels that have little 'tomb stones' that act as cutters and their lined up some how), friability (they crack to re-sharpen or change in size), absolute hardness (diamond vs aluminum oxide (important when working with ceramics or super alloys or glass), toughness (how long they stay sharp), surface friction (how much heat is generated during the cutting operation, they actually have nitride coated wheels (same reason, to reduce friction AFTER the cut is made on the rake angle), thermal conductivity (how much the wheel absorbs and dissipates along its surface and how much energy is transferred into the coolant). You actually want something like 100PSI water jet 2-3 millimeters above where it cuts spraying HARD, not just dripping on the wheel, to remove heat as much as possible).
All this applies to sand paper, angle grinders, surface grinders, super-finishing and polish.
Most of these factors only effect someone doing large volumes to save money. What you need to know TLDR : use properly dressed/sharpened/fresh abrasive, maintain aggressive removal rate, cool as much as possible, choose a material hard enough for your job (keep in mind diamond is not tough so it will fri quickly and get destroyed on metal but its great for stuff like cement cutting or polishing). Don't try to save money with 'tricks' using worn materials or skip grit sizes unless you know what your doing. Do the rational step down like 120, 150, 200, 300, 400, 600, 800, 1000, 1200, 1500, 2000, 3000, 4000, 5000 grit. Don't go from 12 micron diamonds to 2 micron diamonds.
The more steps the more aggressive and less worn the grinding media will be. When you get experience you might be able to skip some steps (not sure if this is true actually). Problem is you need ALOT of different stuff and most people just don't want to spend that kind of money. I made a sand paper "book" with all the different grits on different pages in little folders (from staples) binder inserts.
Before I saw the electron microscope pictures I had some crazy fucking ideas about what was supposed to happen during grinding.