I am reporting back on my results
All Ubiquiti products are turned off and dead to me. I went with Gl.iNet, the one mentioned above. It has everything I need. Open source, router or access point, and not expensive.
GL-inet GL-B1330 "Convexa B"
The learning curve was not simple. I could not get the mesh to work after try after try. I managed to get 1 node, but never another, so I abandoned it.
Here is some stupid/laughable/good to know:
There is an advanced setup page for the admin console... I kept thinking I hosed it and lost the skin. Several resets later I realized I was dumb.
The instructions out there are poor, good luck.
The debricking video is very good, look it up
Ignore resetting posts online... left button flashes, faster flashes, let it go. That's it.
Its not as fast daisy chained... I kept my switch to switch communications and used the GLs as spokes to the switches. The main router gets the internet, that gets a lan connection to my best switch, that goes to my other 2 switches at the other ends of the house. The other access points are off those switches. Initially I daisy chained the Gls but that wasn't very quick, I have some pretty good Cisco switches optically wired.
I wish was a POE unit, the adapter is available but not worth it in my view.
I guess after doing this, its a good setup for a home.
My guy says that this router is not that potent, and that I would do better with a powerful router and covert all the Gls to access points... am I correct?
Any thoughts on openwrt routers that might be more potent and fit within the ethos of the thread?