You're getting there
Some observations:
Its hard to believe <-- It's
Just take a look at what customers are saying about the 808 in the reviews section of its page found here. <-- they just got on this page, why do you push them to move on to another page?
Several times on the page there's Hakko 808 vs FR-300 but when you start describing the differences you mention fr-300 vs the 808-kit . It's a bit confusing; FR-300 is the "star" of the page, so perhaps it should be fr-300 vs 808 throughout the page, to have everything more consistent.
There's also several product names on the page, let me point them out:
Hakko 808 vs
FR-300 Desoldering ToolSummary comparison of the
Hakko 808/KIT vs the new Hakko FR-300 Desoldering Tool
What is the difference between the
FR-300 Desolder Station vs the
808-Kit Desoldering Tool?
* The
FR300 has a new pump which has even more suction than the pump on the older
808/KIT.
Say I find this page through google and it's not obvious to me that I can click on Hakko 808 links or FR-300 link in first paragraph and I want to enter something in the search box above in the menu, what am I supposed to enter? I think you should be more consistent
Then...
What is the difference between the FR-300 Desolder Station vs the 808-Kit Desoldering Tool?: < --- ? : - grammar:
http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/marks/colon.htmYou keep using "has a longer cord", "has a new pump", "grip was overhauled", just in one place you say "there is a new case" .. it pops out and it sounds a bit weird to me (but then again English is not my native language). Could probably just say "New case", without the "there is"
You also use two spaces after each sentence but if I remember correctly in some countries this is taught, but it's wrong. Most people stopped doing it when typewriters died. See
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sentence_spacing or
http://desktoppub.about.com/cs/typespacing/a/onetwospaces.htm