It's that time of year again... Christmas tree lights

[Gyro]

FYI, to the other shocked Americans: 1. A properly hydrated Christmas tree will not go up in flames if a single candle flame licks a branch for a second. (Ideally you should cut a fresh edge onto the trunk so that it can absorb water better.) 2. One NEVER lights candles except when the tree will be actively supervised. So that means the tree is lit only a handful of times the whole season. 3. It’s nonetheless a wise precaution to keep a fire extinguisher at hand, just in case. Xmas tree fires do happen every year to people who have violated the prior requirements, especially the one about keeping the tree hydrated, since dry evergreen needles do indeed burn exceedingly fast.

That used to be a totally anal form of torture in our household, before we finally gave up and went for an artificial one!

First stand outside in the freezing cold with the tree balanced on the garden bench after dragging it off the car. Then saw a couple of inches off the bottom with a hand saw while SWMBO slowly poured freezing water over the saw, cut and fingers to avoid airlocks and wash away spilt blood. Then split the bottom of the trunk in at least three directions with a chisel and drill a few holes for good measure (while continuing the water torture) to maximise absorbing area. Then plunge into a bucket of water, (breaking the ice if necessary!) and leave outside for a week. Dry saw, drill bits, chisel etc and oil as necessary, sweep needles off car. Finally attend to chilblains!

After week, bring inside, originally in the bucket (remove slugs), wedged with bricks and much swearing to get the trunk perfectly vertical, more latterly in a cast iron stand with water reservoir. Then cut the top off the optimistically chosen tree to make room for the fairy between the top and the ceiling.  We never had needle drop though.

The final change came when we found that one of the DIY stores had a realistic looking artificial one on offer, cheaper than we could buy a dying one. That was about 10 years ago. Filament bulbs which had lasted since we were married in 1984 and still working, finally replaced with LED a couple of years ago. Christmas is so much easier these days. 

[ebastler]

Christmas is so much easier these days. 

I recommend this inflatable tree with interior lights. 

[james_s]

First stand outside in the freezing cold with the tree balanced on the garden bench after dragging it off the car. Then saw a couple of inches off the bottom with a hand saw while SWMBO slowly poured freezing water over the saw, cut and fingers to avoid airlocks and wash away spilt blood. Then split the bottom of the trunk in at least three directions with a chisel and drill a few holes for good measure (while continuing the water torture) to maximise absorbing area. Then plunge into a bucket of water, (breaking the ice if necessary!) and leave outside for a week. Dry saw, drill bits, chisel etc and oil as necessary, sweep needles off car. Finally attend to chilblains!

That sounds drastically more involved than what I do. Unload the tree and lay it in the driveway, buzz an inch off the bottom with my cordless reciprocating saw, slap the base of my adjustable stand on and crank down the screws. Then carry it inside, set it up in the stand, adjust it to level and fill the stand with water. Cut the bundling net off and let it settle for a bit and then decorate. The actual setup takes about 20 minutes, most of the work is decorating it. Yeah an artificial tree would be marginally easier as I wouldn't have to drive anywhere to get it but the real ones make the house smell nice.

[Syntax Error]

Maybe Jehovah's Witnesses have the right idea? They do not celebrate xmas and easter as they believe these are pagan festivals and not true Christian events. So that's no lights, no trees, no cards, no wrapping paper, no waiting in line to meet some grumpy shopping mal Santa, no 'amusing' office Secret Santa gifts, no sexual harassment claims after the office party, no Rudolph jumpers or stupid Pixie hats, no festive shopping muzak, no keeping the receipts (she will hate it), no under/over cooked Turkey, and absolutely no hoovering of random glitter particles off the furniture. Oh what joy to the world! Anyway, as a pagan I say to the EEVBlog community, happy Winter/Summer Solstice < depending on your hemisphere.

[Gyro]

First stand outside in the freezing cold with the tree balanced on the garden bench after dragging it off the car. Then saw a couple of inches off the bottom with a hand saw while SWMBO slowly poured freezing water over the saw, cut and fingers to avoid airlocks and wash away spilt blood. Then split the bottom of the trunk in at least three directions with a chisel and drill a few holes for good measure (while continuing the water torture) to maximise absorbing area. Then plunge into a bucket of water, (breaking the ice if necessary!) and leave outside for a week. Dry saw, drill bits, chisel etc and oil as necessary, sweep needles off car. Finally attend to chilblains!

That sounds drastically more involved than what I do. Unload the tree and lay it in the driveway, buzz an inch off the bottom with my cordless reciprocating saw, slap the base of my adjustable stand on and crank down the screws. Then carry it inside, set it up in the stand, adjust it to level and fill the stand with water. Cut the bundling net off and let it settle for a bit and then decorate. The actual setup takes about 20 minutes, most of the work is decorating it. Yeah an artificial tree would be marginally easier as I wouldn't have to drive anywhere to get it but the real ones make the house smell nice.

Yeah, I did say I got pretty anal about it! 

I do agree about missing the smell though.


P.S. Why, in all those years, did I never think of cutting the net off after it was in the house? It always used to come off the week before, outside, to settle and collect crud!

[Electro Detective]

Yeah, great fun finding UV crumbled chrissie light gutter clips hiding in grass
with bare feet in summer 


A few years back I got lumped with boxes of these typical generic   -origin of manufacture unknown and or unnamed-    infernal lights,
tangled and manged to hell, different strings and brands? to sort out = 

and if memory serves (one last time about this pet hate) I rigged up some shorting wire thingies to poke into random light sockets, even if the globes looked and tested ok,
and after about ten or so pokes, I fixed the lot,
but due to lack of replacement bulbs, sacrificed the last few in the end of the string/s, which got wrapped up and hidden away out of sight.
I 'think' I had to terminate something/somewhere for the return path/s = 

fwiw there were a few loose and or crusty sockets to clean and 'tighten' as well as dud globes

Does this sound right? Pretty sure that's how it went down, I do remember wearing a magnifier with a torch

They were a hassle to separate before the troubleshoot
and even once they were working, they were still a PIT?
to untangle and organize properly for mounting and packing later

I found that gently rolling the chain loosely in a box and labelling both ends goes a LONG way to keeping ones sanity..

Yep, I hate em, there I said it. 

I don't mind the Christmas vibe, but not some of the unnecessary and 'irrelevant to the actual real occasion' BS that goes with it   

[xrunner]

Yeah, great fun finding UV crumbled chrissie light gutter clips hiding in grass
with bare feet in summer 

LOL that was a hoot reading, but dude get a laser Xmas display source, put in yard or wherever, shine on object, and relax. 

[Magicshark]

If I were you, I'd better buy new ones. Once, I had my Lights broken, I'd tried to fix them, and nothing good came out.

[tooki]

Candles, anyone?
We still have them on the tree in the living room. Accept no substitute! 

We were absolutely shocked at our first Christmas in Switzerland (1992) when everyone put candles on their trees. In USA, where we moved from, that is absolutely unheard of in the modern era.

Yikes, I'll use 70 year old strings of incandescent lamps with cloth covered wires but I'm not letting open flame anywhere near the tree. Evergreen trees are quite flammable and can go from a small flame to a huge fireball in a matter of seconds.

FYI, to the other shocked Americans: 1. A properly hydrated Christmas tree will not go up in flames if a single candle flame licks a branch for a second. (Ideally you should cut a fresh edge onto the trunk so that it can absorb water better.) 2. One NEVER lights candles except when the tree will be actively supervised. So that means the tree is lit only a handful of times the whole season. 3. It’s nonetheless a wise precaution to keep a fire extinguisher at hand, just in case. Xmas tree fires do happen every year to people who have violated the prior requirements, especially the one about keeping the tree hydrated, since dry evergreen needles do indeed burn exceedingly fast.

Better still get a Christmas tree with proper roots. I use the same one every year. It goes in a shady spot in the garden, over the summer and is watered regularly, especially durinh in hot, dry weather.

Having said that, I deem using candles to be too risky vs the benefit and prefer to use LED lights.

Here in Zurich, where most people live in apartments and have at most a balcony, but no garden, there is a service that lets you rent a potted Christmas tree, then just return it after New Years. It costs about the same as a cut tree, which I think is fair given the work to nurse the trees the rest of the year.

[Electro Detective]

If I were you, I'd better buy new ones. Once, I had my Lights broken, I'd tried to fix them, and nothing good came out.

Great advice to be sure   

Unfortunately stubborn 'I got this..' suckers like me    get 'good coming out of bad' from landfill worthy house igniting eye candy,
so as not to spoil the festive vibe for young and older low on cash..

Atheists, agnostics? scrooges, and FAT Santa Clutz haters in general know how to save themselves a lot of drama and money,
and enjoy their HAPPY HOLIDAYS without having to think about calling the Fire Brigade/Department in that high risk 60 day period.


FWIW Christmas with all the BS lashings, is still a better deal than WEDDINGS,
when all the closet crazies expose their concealed MENTAL ISSUES   

Add medication, alcohol, not so legal substance indulgence to that, plus the usual gossip stirring (the bride is bonking the best man and or vice versa) 
and even a well trained security team will choose to lose the pay and do a runner 

[james_s]

Call me weird but I find untangling and resurrecting christmas lights to be somewhat therapeutic, it's a bit like knitting I guess, something I can sit on the sofa and do while I watch TV. Always a nice feeling when a dead string springs back to life.