Wow, alot of feedback, thanks.
I'm still reading and checking so if you feel unanswered, please have patience.
concerning L1:
On a first view, yes, L1 should be after the zener D5 and before C2. But on a closer look, this will lead to a nasty switch-on-surge not only to the regulator, but to C2 too. The simulation file is attached in the first post, you can try it by yourself.
Some playing around:
Without L1: the regulator goes slowly throuth the 2.5V-range and take a -610mA surge.
(that way too close to the maximun rate for my taste.
Even C2 gets a burst of -550mA. in other words: toasted on small fire.
with L1 before (left from) C2: worse than without L1.
IC1 gets a-680mA surge. Even C2 gets a burst of -550mA. toasted as well over time.
with L1 after C2:
The switch-on-burst for IC1 goes down to -300mA (just 1/3 of maximum rating) and C2 gets no burst. It only gets the ripple from the rectifier with 70mA peak and a single surge of 100mA at switching off R7 (simulated relay). Thats something I (and C2) can live with. Vout (Label "plus") stays in all moments above 4.85Volts, even with switching the relay load.
About RIFA caps: I thought (hoped?) they are out of business. Seems the materials from them can still bite me.
The breaking of a series resistor (here R2) is something at least once came on my desk long time ago in a commercial device. But thanks for the reminder.
The LR8K4 is something, that I had not on my radar. still reading.
But I found it interesting, that X2-caps >300VAC are rare in the listings of the big distributors (like digikey, TME) but can easy found in shops for low volume deals/ hobbyists/ part-time-repairmen (reichelt.de, conrad.com to name a few, mostly known in Central Europe, certainly unknown to the others).