Define "expensive". How much are you looking to spend in total?
To give you some idea, I'm a huge fan of pfSense and Netgate appliances. You can pick up something like the Netgate 2100 for USD$349, which will give you a very decent, commercial router/firewall product. If you have a very fast internet connection (say 1 Gbps or more), you might want to go up to the Netgate 4200. Of course, pfSense is still available for free, which you can run on any x64-based* machine with a few NICs.
As for switches and wireless, it's hard to beat Ubiquiti on price, performance and features, however some people don't like the idea of having to run a seperate network controller. I prefer it (I just run a dedicated VM, but you can host it on your desktop PC. It doesn't have to be running all the time, just when you need to monitor or reconfigure anything). If you're looking to build a 10 Gigabit backbone to your network, look at the Ubiquiti Pro switches. They have 10 Gig SPF+ ports and come in various models depending on how many copper ports you want, and whether you want PoE or not. The Pro 24 is around USD$399.
As for fibre vs copper, that will depend on your requirements. If you're in an area prone to storms, fibre on the WAN side, absolutely, even if it's just a short length with media converters. That will act as an air gap between the outside infrastructure and your network. For everything inside, I just use Cat 6. It's good up to 10 Gigabits. I run DAC cables between the switches and servers (these are cheap).
10 gig NICs can be expensive, but you might find some at a good price on ebay or similar. I picked up a bunch of Intel X520-DA2 NICs for about AUD$75 each a while ago. Being SFP, you can decide whether you want to use fibre or direct attach copper cables. Just watch out for Chinese fakes. If they are "too cheap", they might not be genuine cards.
You can have as many VLANs as you want on the same equipment. You just need to configure your router and switch(es) accordingly and decide whether you want Tagged vs Untagged VLANs. (I use port-based untagged VLANs for my devices.)
If all this is sounding too expensive, some of the "budget" brands I would go for are:
Switches: Netgear business-series; MikroTik; Second-hand Cisco switches.
Wireless: MikroTik; Second-hand Cisco or HP Enterprise.
Routing: pfSense on your own hardware; MikroTik.
Don't buy into this whole wireless "mesh" bullshit the consumer brands love to push. Meshing becomes entirely irrelevant if you're connecting your wireless access points via an ethernet cable. The ability to mesh only becomes useful if you aren't able to run a network cable to a radio, and even then, has its limitations.
* I know pfSense will also currently run on x86 hardware, however talk of dropping 32-bit support has been around for a while. It'll happen eventually.