The 37µs instruction execution time is 10 clock cycles of the display controller.
Yes, it is, I agree. Now taking some of your other points, one at a time:
No it's not that simple I am afraid
I agree.
The entire instruction is usually executed in 37µs
IF the F.osc or F.ext (whichever you are using), is exactly 270KHz, then it is 37µs. But at the minimum allowed F.ext (and clock frequency) on the datasheet, which is shown as 125KHz, datasheet, near top of page 32, then it would be 80µs.
So i still do not see where the 80µs comes from as it is so much longer than all other timings
Remember the 10 clock cycles you just mentioned (last bit of your post), and the 125KHz minimum external frequency (clock F.ext (look at OSC1, OSC2 pins), NOT to be confused with the E signal). 125KHz = 8µs x 10 clock cycles (see bottom of your own post) = the 80µs minimum time.
Unfortunately (I'd prefer it, if the datasheet was considerably easier for everyone, to understand), many of the timings it mentions, are actually dependent on the actual F.osc or F.ext clock frequency, which has defined min and max limits, page 32 of datasheet. Page 8 seems to mention the OSC1, OSC2 stuff.
Once you have a specific circuit (schematic) defined, and know the component values, you will know what
F.osc or F.ext are and/or can set them by programming (or changing component values) of your unit, to make them what you desire them to be. I haven't looked into that part of the datasheet, have no idea what schematic and/or hardware you are going to be using, so can't really speculate on what OSC1, OSC2, F.osc or F.ext, are going to be for your stuff (unless I've missed it, in the rest of this thread).
There is a 80ns, you keep on referring to, but that is the data setup time, T.DSW, Which is about setting up data, ready to write into the chip, rather than the busy flag timing.