The voltages on all 4 speaker connections move independently you can't common any of them, so I don't think there's any way you can do it that way without having 2 floating supplies. But...
I need 5V RMS for the first led to come on and then the last one comes on at 20V RMS.
Think of it this way, I think it's accurate enough if you want to go in this direction, if you want to measure at the speaker connections then I don't think you have a choice.
At 0dB no-output the amp holds
both ends of the speaker at the mid voltage point, - both ends at 18V on 36V supply, so that there's 0V
across the speaker.
Your 20V RMS is peaks of +/-28V, so..
To get this peak of 28V across the speaker connections the amp raises one speaker connection 14V
above the mid voltage point, and the other speaker connection 14V
below the mid voltage point, giving 28V across the speaker. As the voltage on each side of the speaker is an exact +/- mirror image of the other side, you only have to look at one of them referenced to 0V.
Looking at just this one side of the speaker, at 0dB output the speaker is held at the mid point = 18V , when the 28V peak comes along this one speaker side raises to 18V + 14V = 32V.
This gives you the 2 Vref levels needed for the LM3915, Vref LO = 18V and Vref High = 32V, referenced to 0V.
In practice you'd potential divider this voltage down, div by 10 gives Vref Low = 1.8V and Vref High = 3.2V referenced to 0V.