That's great, and well done for getting to where you are. The beef I have is that you make it sound like anyone who didn't replicate that is a lazy, profligate ne'er do well.
With regards Fran and similar, if someone gets fixated or can't handle something, you're going to say it's their fault. Superficially, you'd be right. But do we say that about people with agoraphobia, claustrophobia and similar? How about people that are so unable to handle stuff that they take their own lives in preference? Hey, if you can not only survive and do well, it's their choice/fault to die, right?
I think it's pretty clear that Fran has serious issues over this. No-one is going to help by banging on about how it wouldn't and didn't happen to them, so Fran could just get her act together and Do It. No, she can't. If she we able to I have no doubt that she wouldn't be in this situation. It may seem a trivial thing to you to get out of this rut, but clearly it is beyond her, and I don't see that it is necessarily her fault any more than being in the wrong body is her fault.
But it is their fault. I get it, it sucks, life is hard, life isn't fair, mental illness sucks, circumstances suck, but it is what it is, you either find a way to work with what you've got or you fail. Sure there are people that genuinely got screwed over, they were dealt a lousy hand and that part isn't their fault, but those aren't really the people I'm talking about. I'm talking about the ones that have options but they don't take them, or they repeatedly make bad choices. I certainly didn't have the best circumstances growing up, I lived with a single parent just barely scraping by in a dumpy apartment after my parents got divorced when I was 13. I worked a crappy fast food job and tried the college thing for a while but dropped out when I realized I couldn't afford it and was not really the greatest student. But I didn't just give up, and I didn't paint myself into a corner with rigid requirements, I did what I had to do so that I'd never be in the position my mom was in of having to scrape up enough money to pay the rent.
I don't know, maybe some people just can't hack it, maybe they're not cut out for life, but many people COULD if they would just focus on taking the necessary steps rather than coming up with reasons why they can't. For years I've been dealing with a good friend that is under-employed, I occasionally come across jobs that he'd be a good fit for and send them his way, he says oh they won't hire him, he's not good enough at this or that language or skill, he's not a "real" developer, etc etc etc, despite the fact that I've seen him create rather complex embedded projects from scratch, write his own drivers in C for displays and RF modules and such, I've told him not to disqualify himself, apply and see what happens, worst case he doesn't get hired. I've all but given up because it's always excuses why it won't work and it drives me nuts. Of course it won't work IF YOU DON"T TRY.
These are the people I'm talking about, the ones that refuse to see the options that are in front of their own nose, refuse to try, refuse to prioritize and instead just come up with excuses and reasons that they will fail, before they've even started. If a person won't even try then I have little sympathy when they fail. Of course you will fail if that's what you set out to do.