I'm always far more concerned about the pcb surviving than a socket.
Yep, I have raged several times when I tried desoldering something and I ended up ripping the pad. Especially when I just finished soldering a tricky board and found that there is that one faulty component that needed to be replaced (like a quartz crystal that got dropped at some point).
I guess the key to not damage components would be to work quickly and efficiently. If you spend too much time heating something, the component will get damaged and the pads on the PCB will come off. Don't force the components, if they don't want to budge easily, that's how pads get ripped.
The temperature needs to be just high enough to melt the solder. Use some old junk PCB to experiment with temperatures and see what works best for you (just remember that leaded and lead-free solder don't melt at same temperatures).