two languages, written and spoken, plus dialects
Yeah - but I don't think there is any language where this isn't the case, dialects are everywhere and so are differences between written and "actually spoken" (in daily dialogue) language.
No, this is a very different thing, at least in German. See below.
Huh? English is littered with slang you wouldn't write in anything remotely formal. For example, in real English verbal English there are many terms of abuse which are a form of affection, but written down they are purely abuse.
Yes, but I'm not talking about slang, I'm talking about two versions of the language. It would take a native speaker of French or German to amplify what I mean, but I believe I am correct.
You are absolutely correct, at least in regards to German. (I can’t vouch for French.)
Switzerland is a poster child of this: the native spoken language in the German-speaking part of the country is “Swiss German”, a language (or dialect, depending on who you ask) with pronunciation, vocabulary, and grammar different enough that most Germans cannot readily understand it. Swiss German TV shows have to be dubbed into standard German for Germany, just as if it were any other foreign language.
In contrast, the language used in Switzerland in writing, as well as spoken in some very specific settings like elementary school, is “Swiss Standard German”, the Swiss dialect/variant of standard German, readily understood by Germans. (Standard German is used in school so the kids learn it. But the division is really clean: standard German is the language of instruction. During breaks, the same teacher will speak Swiss German with the kids.)
(In recent years, written Swiss German has become a thing among younger people, used in text messaging between friends. But since it is a transcription of a language with a very high level of regional variation, spelling varies wildly from person to person.)
To give you an idea of the difference, here’s a sample sentence:
English: I was in Basel yesterday and went shopping there.
Swiss German (Zurich dialect): Ich bi geschter z Basel gsi und bi dete go poschte.
Standard German: Ich war gestern in Basel und war dort einkaufen.
As you can see, the Swiss German isn’t a slight tweak on the standard German, it is very substantially different. Germany has many local “dialects” that diverge substantially from the written form. (I assume Austria does too, I just have no experience. Liechtenstein is the same as Switzerland.)
Now here’s the key thing: when you talk about slang, you’re talking about the level of formality (known as “register” in linguistics). My English (my native language) does indeed vary in register situationally. But in Switzerland, Swiss German vs. standard German is NOT situational, insofar as you use Swiss German in all settings, and it has its own slang and formal registers. So, for example, a sales clerk at a fancy boutique will use very formal Swiss German when speaking with a customer, and very informal Swiss German when speaking with a friend. But if they write a letter, it’s in formal standard German to the customer, and informal standard German to the friend.
So it’s not a single language with a spectrum of formality, it’s two separate languages, each with its own spectrum of formality.
This is called a “diglossia” in linguistics (which I studied at university), for those who want to read up on the subject.
I would argue that there are many native English speakers who also have a clear diglossia. For example, most African-Americans’ home dialect is AAVE (African-American Vernacular English), but use standard American English in writing (and in most cases, also speak standard American English situationally). AAVE has, aside from the obvious differences in pronunciation and slang vocabulary, a number of substantial grammatical differences from standard American English. Similar situations apply to many British dialects.
In contrast, many native English speakers (both in USA and elsewhere) have no diglossia, using substantially the same vocabulary and grammar for both everyday speech and writing. A typical American from the Midwest or Pacific Northwest, for example, will not have a separate home dialect. This does not mean that slang doesn’t get used, nor that there aren’t different “registers” of formality when speaking and writing for different situations, but it does mean that, for example, the grammar is the same.