Electronics device to count numbers of people

[Faringdon]

Hi,
We are looking for a software engineer to come and work for us. We have a product which installs onto lamp-posts in town centres/underground stations/football grounds/bus stops,  and counts the number of people who pass by.
We need you to not necessarily write the software for it, but pretend that you did....you must be able to sound like you did write the software...you see, we are seeking funding from the UK government  to bring this product to the UK market. Even though we simply received the product from our master Chinese company, we must make it look like we made the product ourselves, in order that the UK government will give us the money to take this product forward and market it.

We are bandstanding that "British designed and built" thing...even though none of us  designed or built the product, ...we do have engineering degrees which make us "look the part".
Anyway, please get in touch if you can...we stand to be millionaires by the end of the year. We can get you over to China where you can speak with the actual software engineers...there you can learn to "talk the talk"!!......and get ready for a very bloated bank account!!!

We have targeted people in the funding sector, who know what we're up to, but will "turn a blind eye"...but we still need to fool the "system" generally....there's big bucks to be had from the funding sector alone!......even before we start talking actual  profits!

"Pro-British" type people need not apply..... after all, this is all about forwarding the decline of the UK ,while seriously augmenting our personal bank accounts!

[tooki]

    

[jpanhalt]

...You forget that i myself operate a Far Eastern Electronics importation business, so do many of my pals.
Last year i made £35.4 million profit for myself (not anywhere near as much as my mates though)...not bad for sitting about and placing a few orders now and again.....i dont even have to see the products....just get them sent straight to customer.

What part of the profits will the lucky winner of this engagement get from your people counter?

[SomeGuy]

Wow...being in the software field and knowing how easy people tracking in video is now, this makes me just want to send a note to the British government telling them you're trying to deceive them.

[hexreader]

Hi,
We are looking for a software engineer to come and work for us. We have a product which installs onto lamp-posts in town centres/underground stations/football grounds/bus stops,  and counts the number of people who pass by.
We need you to not necessarily write the software for it, but pretend that you did....you must be able to sound like you did write the software...you see, we are seeking funding from the UK government  to bring this product to the UK market. Even though we simply received the product from our master Chinese company, we must make it look like we made the product ourselves, in order that the UK government will give us the money to take this product forward and market it.

We are bandstanding that "British designed and built" thing...even though none of us  designed or built the product, ...we do have engineering degrees which make us "look the part".
Anyway, please get in touch if you can...we stand to be millionaires by the end of the year. We can get you over to China where you can speak with the actual software engineers...there you can learn to "talk the talk"!!......and get ready for a very bloated bank account!!!

We have targeted people in the funding sector, who know what we're up to, but will "turn a blind eye"...but we still need to fool the "system" generally....there's big bucks to be had from the funding sector alone!......even before we start talking actual  profits!

"Pro-British" type people need not apply..... after all, this is all about forwarding the decline of the UK ,while seriously augmenting our personal bank accounts!

I feel so good that my tax money is funding your fraud 

[hexreader]

What part of the profits will the lucky winner of this engagement get from your people counter?

Your reward will be an unfulfilled promise of 0.1% of the profit and fully fulfilled reality of 100% of the jail time when treez throws you under the bus.

[MK14]

OP: I'm so glad that you have stopped making fictional troll stories.

[daqq]

It's that time of the week I guess.

[alexnoot]

Your crazy's gone crazy 

[Siwastaja]

Weekend, and obviously a few too many good British beers. But do worry, it'll be soon made in China, too.

[SiliconWizard]

Wow...being in the software field and knowing how easy people tracking in video is now, this makes me just want to send a note to the British government telling them you're trying to deceive them.

Sure. And that said, any job related to tracking people - no thanks. =)

I liked the last sentence of the OP.

[Bud]

Some few yearsback i saw a job post from a Government of Canada unit, which at the end was saying

 "White males need not to apply".

I am not kidding, true story.

[Cerebus]

Hi,
We are looking for a software engineer to come and work for us. We have a product which installs onto lamp-posts in town centres/underground stations/football grounds/bus stops,  and counts the number of people who pass by.
We need you to not necessarily write the software for it, but pretend that you did....you must be able to sound like you did write the software...you see, we are seeking funding from the UK government  to bring this product to the UK market. Even though we simply received the product from our master Chinese company, we must make it look like we made the product ourselves, in order that the UK government will give us the money to take this product forward and market it.

We are bandstanding that "British designed and built" thing...even though none of us  designed or built the product, ...we do have engineering degrees which make us "look the part".
Anyway, please get in touch if you can...we stand to be millionaires by the end of the year. We can get you over to China where you can speak with the actual software engineers...there you can learn to "talk the talk"!!......and get ready for a very bloated bank account!!!

We have targeted people in the funding sector, who know what we're up to, but will "turn a blind eye"...but we still need to fool the "system" generally....there's big bucks to be had from the funding sector alone!......even before we start talking actual  profits!

"Pro-British" type people need not apply..... after all, this is all about forwarding the decline of the UK ,while seriously augmenting our personal bank accounts!

This is a new low, even for you. Publicly posting proof of intent to defraud the government. (17 year maximum sentence in the current sentencing guidelines by the way - common law cheat of the public revenue.) Even if this is intended to be a wind-up (and judging from your previous output I suspect you're serious), some bored copper might decide that a day out of the office with a search warrant and the contents of your house and workplace might be a nice change from sitting in the office doing paperwork.

What particular variety of terminally stupid do you have to be to do this? Even Mick the Mugger and Fingers the Thief have got more sense than to do this in public.

[Gyro]

Yes, he's pretty careless, he's left quite an identity footprint. It wouldn't take long (I think I've got the basics already).

[themadhippy]

gis a job,i can do that.

"so mr hippy how did you implement feature xyz?"
" well erm,sorry but i cant answer that for copyright reasons"

see its easy,were do i sign up

[magic]

You should probably delete this

[jpanhalt]

This is a new low, even for you. Publicly posting proof of intent to defraud the government. (17 year maximum sentence in the current sentencing guidelines by the way - common law cheat of the public revenue.) Even if this is intended to be a wind-up (and judging from your previous output I suspect you're serious), some bored copper might decide that a day out of the office with a search warrant and the contents of your house and workplace might be a nice change from sitting in the office doing paperwork.

In the US, it's called retirement by incarceration.  It's better than starving to death, and affords one the best medical care anyone could want. That is, you can demand and get the best specialists at Mayo Clinic or claim cruel and inhuman punishment.  The catch is, it needs to be a Federal crime (cushy prisons) with no state crime specification (miserable prisons).  Of course most people abhor going to any prison, but for some it is the best alternative.  I don't know whether that dichotomy exists in Britain.

[SiliconWizard]

Yes we know the OP is kind of obsessed with the topic and sounds quite bitter in general, but I found this fun.
One may end up getting annoyed by his attitude, but I can't say that what he wrote here is completely fictional. It's even relatively common these days, and not just in the UK, and not just in the electronics industry either.
To go further, hiring engineers and even PhDs just to cover up bullshit and attract funding is a pretty common thing these days, especially in startups. Making fun of this looks reasonable to me. =)

[tooki]

In the US, it's called retirement by incarceration.  It's better than starving to death, and affords one the best medical care anyone could want. That is, you can demand and get the best specialists at Mayo Clinic or claim cruel and inhuman punishment.

For those who don't know, this is either a joke, or an insane level of misinformation, as this couldn't be further from the truth, with the possible exception of inmates of the luxury prisons for the richest of white-collar criminals.

Inmates at normal prisons, including federal, get basic medical care, if they're lucky.

(And no, the phrase "retirement by incarceration" is not a thing. Try googling it in quotes. The only other result is from jpanhalt himself, on a different electronics forum.)

[magic]

(And no, the phrase "retirement by incarceration" is not a thing. Try googling it in quotes. The only other result is from jpanhalt himself, on a different electronics forum.)

Somebody's gotta be the pioneer

[Circlotron]

Some few yearsback i saw a job post from a Government of Canada unit, which at the end was saying

 "White males need not to apply".

I am not kidding, true story.

On your application you should have told them that you identify as a black female. In some places it is probably illegal to contradict that sort of claim. 

[Bud]

Would you think i'd want to work for such employer 

[jpanhalt]

In the US, it's called retirement by incarceration.  It's better than starving to death, and affords one the best medical care anyone could want. That is, you can demand and get the best specialists at Mayo Clinic or claim cruel and inhuman punishment.

For those who don't know, this is either a joke, or an insane level of misinformation, as this couldn't be further from the truth, with the possible exception of inmates of the luxury prisons for the richest of white-collar criminals.

Inmates at normal prisons, including federal, get basic medical care, if they're lucky.

(And no, the phrase "retirement by incarceration" is not a thing. Try googling it in quotes. The only other result is from jpanhalt himself, on a different electronics forum.)

I give up.  This site has the worst system for deleting and restoring I have seen!  Posting images can be a nightmare.  I hit a wrong key and my whole response was deleted.  Apparently no recovery.   I will not waste time on repeating it.  Suffice it to be said that my attorney and I coined that term during a period of levity.  I had no idea it was so unique.  If you want to know the rest, read about why vaccinations cannot be mandated on prisoners and why prisoners on death row get transplants ahead of those who are not in prison.  Our Federal prisons are better than some resorts.

[Cerebus]

In the US, it's called retirement by incarceration.  It's better than starving to death, and affords one the best medical care anyone could want. That is, you can demand and get the best specialists at Mayo Clinic or claim cruel and inhuman punishment.

For those who don't know, this is either a joke, or an insane level of misinformation, as this couldn't be further from the truth, with the possible exception of inmates of the luxury prisons for the richest of white-collar criminals.

Inmates at normal prisons, including federal, get basic medical care, if they're lucky.

(And no, the phrase "retirement by incarceration" is not a thing. Try googling it in quotes. The only other result is from jpanhalt himself, on a different electronics forum.)

I give up.  This site has the worst system for deleting and restoring I have seen!  Posting images can be a nightmare.  I hit a wrong key and my whole response was deleted.  Apparently no recovery.   I will not waste time on repeating it.  Suffice it to be said that my attorney and I coined that term during a period of levity.  I had no idea it was so unique.  If you want to know the rest, read about why vaccinations cannot be mandated on prisoners and why prisoners on death row get transplants ahead of those who are not in prison.  Our Federal prisons are better than some resorts.

If you'd led with "my attorney and I coined the term 'retirement by incarceration' during a period of levity" perhaps Tooki wouldn't have taken exception. Phrasing it as "in the US" implies much, much, more than 'an in joke with my attorney'. You are rather pushing yourself into "unreliable witness" territory by doing that.

[jpanhalt]

Sorry.  Perhaps Tooki would be wisely advised not to rely on Google for American culture.