In electric engineering terms we say, it DOES matter how I twist or coil the leads of my voltmeter.
In the real world it can (and in this case demonstrably does) matter how you twist or coil the leads. There is transformer coupling happening which is not shown on your theoretical circuit.
Good point, let's simplify the circuit. Let's get rid of the voltmeter. We will use an electron to probe the voltage for each half of our loop. Even more, let's look only at the sign of the voltage for each half of the loop.
1. We have our loop of 2 resistors in an increasing magnetic field.
2. Electrons will flow through our loop, let's say clockwise.
3. Let's measure the voltage. By definition, voltage is the work required to move the unit of charge between our measuring points.
4. We don't have a voltmeter, so we grab an electron, and start moving it through each half of the loop, in order to see how much work do we need to accomplish that - or other said to probe the voltage for each half of the loop, left-hand half, and right-hand half.
5. Starting from top, when we circulate our grabbed electron through the left-hand half of the loop, we will need to put some work to move our electron against the flow of all the other electrons in the loop, so negative voltage on the left-hand half.
6. Starting from top, when we circulate our grabbed electron through the right-hand side of the loop, we don't need to put any work, our electron will move by itself, it will go with the flow of all the other electrons, it will generate some work, so positive voltage on the right-hand half.
7. From 5 and 6 we observe the voltage between the same points is once positive, once negative, depending on which half of the loop we measure. The sum of voltages in our closed loop is Vpositive - Vnegative, which is NOT zero. E.g. 3V - (-5V) = 8V.
8. We just seen the sum of voltages for our loop is NOT zero, yet Kirchhoff's Voltage Law predicts it to be ZERO, so Kirchhoff is broken for our setup.