How about we all stop speaking english and see how a more civilized and regulated country like Germany does it.
Face it - we are all making a series of noises developed so one monkey could tell another monkey where the ripe fruit was...
But since the languages in question started in northern Europe the grunts are steeped in frustration that the fruit is NEVER ripe.
I literally LOLed at this. It's true!
(For example, when I moved from USA to Switzerland, something that puzzled me was onions: in USA, big onions are the cheapest by weight, and you pay more for little ones. In Switzerland it's the opposite. For dicing it makes no difference, but if you want big onion rings, it's an issue. I finally found out the reason when I asked a farmer: in Switzerland the growing season is short, so to get big onions, you have to start them as seedlings in a greenhouse in the winter and then transplant them to the fields. Small onions, you just plant seeds in spring and let them do their thing!)
Speaking of grunts, the acid test for Swiss German pronunciation is the guttural "ch" sound: it's supposed to sound like you're trying to dislodge something from your throat!