Some terrible electronics and computing jokes I made over the years, some people at here may enjoy them.
Q: A linear regulator has a power efficiency problem and asks for help. What did the switched-mode power supply answer?
A: Have you tried turning it off and on again?
Q: Why has the hardware developer stopped eating junk food recently?
A: Because of chip shortage.
Q: What do you call a hardware developer who accidentally plugged 5 V logic to a 3.3 V UART port?
A: A serial killer.
Q: Why does Shahriar Shahramian need a lab cat for The Signal Path?
A: It's all about meowlimeter waves.
Q: What do you say when a microcontroller dies?
A: /RST in peace.
Q: Why does the amplifier refuse to work?
A: It demands proper compensation.
Q: What do you call when the White House or the Congress keeps changing its official stance back and forth?
A: Washington AC.
Q: Why do digital design engineers always have extremely busy jobs?
A: They have to work around the clock.
Q: Why can't a high-speed transmission line find a job?
A: It must be terminated.
Q: Why did vector voltmeters become obsolete?
A: They don't solve real problems.
Q: What does an EEPROM become during the pandemic?
A: A Mask ROM.
Q: What do you call two network operators in an unhealthy relationship?
A: A twisted pair.
Q: What do you call a monopole antenna when it was patented by Marconi back then?
A: A monopoly antenna.
Q: What does an amplifier says when there's a lot of high-frequency noise in its power supply?
A: "It Hertz!"
Q: What do you say when a sensor mysteriously stopped working?
A: It doesn't make sense!
Q: What do you say when a hardware developer is ignoring the signal integrity problems in the system?
A: Open your eyes!
Q: Why did YouTube demonetize a video lecture on control systems?
A: It's full of negative feedback.
Q: What do you call a programming language that only supports integers?
A: A pointless programming language.
Q: What do you call a secret conspiracy by a group of analog electronics designers?
A: The Bode Plot.
Q: What does a technician say when the multimeter gives a wrong reading?
A: It could just be a Fluke.
Q: Why do Ethernet transceivers always argue with each other?
A: Because they can't find a common ground.
Q: Why can't the UK just cancel Brexit?
A: The instruction "br exit" is an unconditional jump.
Q: What do you say when a new CPU vulnerability is announced but details are still under embargo?
A: I can make some predictions, but it's all speculative.
Q: What does a USB device say when it gets angry?
A: Am I just a J/K to you?!
Q: What does a hardware developer say when an EEPROM is accidentally erased?
A: What the FF?
Q: What do you say when a datasheet is missing important information or full of mistakes?
A: Datashit.
Q: What do you say when you reopen Matlab after it crashes?
A: The Matrix Reloaded.
Q: Why did a mathematician purchase a bunch of coils and transformers before writing the paper?
A: Proof by induction.
Q: What does an engineer say to an opamp when it's used as a rail splitter?
A: Hold your ground!
Q: Why did Scalar Network Analyzer become obsolete in electronics?
A: Because history is written by the vector.
Q: What is your job title when your electronics project is really boring?
A: circuit bored designer.
Q: What do you call a cheap step-down power converter that costs under $1?
A: A buck converter.
Q: What do you say when you've wasted many hours on a defective eval board?
A: Evil board.
Q: A radio engineer owns an airplane but it never leaves the airport, why?
A: For most RF circuits to work properly, you need a ground plane.
Q: What is the best job for a Low-Barrier Schottky Diode detector?
A: Wikipedia editor. Because it works without bias.
Q: What do you say when you are puzzled by a mysterious integer overflow bug?
A: It doesn't add up.
Q: What does an engineer say when an amplifier works but with some harmonic distortions?
A: Fundamentally, it's not really a problem.
Q: If you are making a series of tutorials on impedance matching, what should you say at the beginning?
A: Stay tuned!
Q: If you are making a tutorial on control systems, what should you say to your audience?
A: Your feedback is important!
Q: Why did an RF engineer go to Area 51 to work on an Ethernet system?
A: To solve the alien crosstalk problem.
Q: Why do you need a capacitor before start watching US politics on C-SPAN TV?
A: To protect yourself from DC bias.
Q: What do you say when a robot is broken after a Darlington power transistor failed?
A: The robot has bipolar disorder.
Q: How does an antenna designer solve an impedance matching problem with a Vector Network Analyzer?
A: Taking a moment of reflection.
Q: Why was the electronics manufacturing engineer fired from the job, but later became a successful architect?
A: for creating a lot of bridges.
Q: Why can't investors make a conclusion about the current 5G mobile chipset market?
A: They always get mixed signals.
Q: When do you say when a spy sold you top-secret technical data on x86 processor microarchitectures?
A: Good intel.
Q: What does an impedance analyzer say when you connect a capacitor to it?
A: Is it real or am I just imagining things?
Q: What do you say when a power supply is broken after its electrolytic capacitors have gone bad?
A: The power supply is incapacitated.
Q: What do you say when an engineer from Poland got paid after leading a labor dispute?
A: Dominant-pole compensation.
Q: What do you say when a broken PIN diode switch took down the RF amplifier?
A: No PIN, no gain.
Q: Why did a group of VCs refuse to invest in a startup company which is trying to build a new CPU?
A1: Too much RISC.
A2: Because it costs an ARM and a Lag.
Q: Why is it slow to send data over a serial port?
A: You have to go bit by bit.
Q: What do you say when your power supply supports remote sensing for cable voltage drop compensation?
A: Resistance is futile.
Q: What do you call when ham radio operators on the shortwave are talking about things to sell for hamfest?
A: High Frequency Trading.
Q: What do you say when people are talking about control theory and you don't understand anything?
A: I'm out of the loop.
Q: Why did the Analog Devices CEO power up a 7805 breadboard before purchasing Linear Technology?
A: The acquisition must be approved by the regulators.
Q: Why does the NIST have a large supply of Doublemint in its physics labs?
A: All measurement uncertainty must be calculated according to the GUM.
Q: What does an RF amplifier do after it's destroyed by an output open circuit by some clueless maintenance crew?
A: Suing for wrongful termination.
Q: What do you say when you're searching for a high-voltage circuit, and finally found a suitable design that looks promising?
A: It has a big potential!
Q: When the '\a' character on your Unix terminal doesn't beep, where is the best place to find an expert to solve your problem?
A: Bell Labs.
Q: Why did an embedded programmer rewrite a 100-line loop and joined them as a 10000-character single line in C?
A: The book said reducing loop area is the key to control electromagnetic interference.
Q: How do you describe the fact that low-side current sensing at ground is easier than high-side current sensing?
A: It's common sense.
Q: Why should you never allow an RF/microwave technician to test your embedded system?
A: Your system will get de-embedded.
Q: What does a motherboard designer say when the deadline is near but a high-speed signal problem caught them in surprise and the CPU is not working?
A: "Oh DDR!"
Q: What do you call when you have a lot of 7400 chips but you refuse to give or sell them to someone else?
A: Gatekeeping.
Q: What do you say when a buggy device keeps generating spurious interrupts, says something is there, but every time the CPU went to process it, there's nothing, and a lot of system resources is wasted?
A: The IRQ War.
Q: Why is the production of the BIOS chips delayed?
A: ROM wasn't build in a day.
Q: What do you say when an amplifier has unwanted lag in the feedback loop, but you still get some phase margin left?
A: instability can be a problem, but only to a lesser degree.
Q: What do you say when your Tektronix oscilloscope is broken, and it cannot be fixed on site so you'll have to live without the scope in the following days?
A: You have a "Teknical" problem, and your problem is "out of scope".
Q: What do electronics engineers do when they are asked to reproduce a software bug that crashes the system only after a 100-day uptime?
A: Placing it in an oven, heating it up to 125 degrees, and then apply Arrhenius Equation to it.
Q: What do you say when a purchase order of rigid coax cables gets delayed due to supply-chain difficulties, but the company insists the vendor to deliver it on time and refuses to renegotiate the terms?
A: "We are taking a hard-line stance on this problem!"
Q: A PCB designer spent a lot of time on optimization, eventually, even all the right-angle bends are carefully mitered to preserved the characteristic impedance. But the customer rejected the finished product, why?
A: "Look at the circuit board! See? They are cutting corners!"
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