Great Scott!
... he said as he reached into the dumpster, expecting to find lunch as usual but was met with something even better - it's cold hard surface, straight lines and smooth finish instantly recognised by his trained hand (even now after all these years), he knew he had hit the jackpot. Grabbing a firm hold and pulling it out, through the layers of banana skins, kitchen grub and used condoms - out it came: a brand new, shiny (though slightly smelly) sexoscope! He doesn't know why (perhaps just habit?) but he dove back in hunting for more - and more there was!
So excited he was that he entirely forgot about lunch and ran back to his secret underground lair to boast and showoff his score, only to remember that he lived alone down there, in the forgotten sewer tunnels of the city... so secretly, and yet again masquerading as his alter ego the EEVBlog guy, he posts a video online giving his lucky finds away - and giving him what he was truely wanting, friendship and connection to his kin back on the surface: something he wasn't expecting to find in any dumpster - at least, not today.