Awww, you've made some Scousers very upset!
A native of Liverpool is called a Liverpudlian, or Scouser (from lobscouse, a kind of stew eaten by sailors. Lots of those in Liverpool). Half-inch = pinch = thieve. That's not a Royal Mail satchel, it's a pukka mailbag. A satchel is a bag with a shoulder strap
They can be quick to take offence, the Scousers. I'd watch those C5 hubcaps.