So I did some experimenting with the software method tonight, and it really seems like this is not practical, at least in my use case. It works - but you need massive delays (few hundred ms) before disconnecting the servo pin, or nothing happens. I found an example in the Arduino forums and they ran a full 1000ms delay. This sort of thing, I think, will be too much when I am doing the RS484 comms as well. I see 3 options:
1. Do it in hardware - either buy the $4.95 commercial circuit for each servo, or buy one and see if I can reverse engineer it.
2. Buy a commercial servo controller than can be trigged by an Arduino pin and leave the servo stuff to someone else (would get pricey)
3. Make my own servo driver controlled by an Arduino pin. In this case, use a second Nano with the servo library in the program, say 8 inputs and 8 servo connections, and then drive that from the first Nano that has the RS485 - simple state change of a pin on the comm Nano, and the one driving the servos can have 1 second delays in the code or whatever works because it pretty much won't matter.
I did do more hardware mockups of the servo and the linkage it will have, and actually it seems to work pretty well without any annoying buzz - the geometry of the linkage is such that it forms a bit of an over center spring and it takes a LOT of force on the music wire to apply enough force to the servo to make it try to back off, far more than would ever be applied when actually moving points. So I may not even need to kill the signal, just make sure I get the endpoints set correctly. I'm still thinking I would do #3 above, because the servo library uses interrupts and seems to be very timing dependent to generate the proper pulse train to each servo, so offloading that may be the better way to go - at $4 for each Nano, it's hard to say this is an expensive solution.
One more option comes to mind. Since each servo will mount in the exact same geometry, the end points should be identical for all of them. I could build a pair of pulse generators with good old 555's (or one 556) and use the Arduino output to toggle which pulse train is fed to each servo. The single Nano could do this, again it's just switching outputs on and off, and then via a driver of some sort.